You don’t have to STAY feral.

S A T U R D A Y 6 feb |  Be aware that you are going to be real tired today and it can have you not feeling gung-ho on getting the chores done, like you thought you would be. Be okay with how this energy wants to handle you because it's getting you into some old wiring spaces that deal with how you are in partnership or how you mess up what needs to be handled by you in a different way. 
 
You will be thinking about your dance with others and how your wounds have pushed away what you loved.  Realize, this is the Earth Walk and it is only when we have pushed away so much that we finally hit bottom and see how much we DO want love in our lives and DO want to feel like we matter. Our wounds keep us like my feral kitten, Moonbella. But I tell you what. I gave her space to just hiss and hate on me and show how much she has never trusted humans – and I allowed it to go as it went – and now it's been a month, and I have the best kitty ever!! We snuggle and she is besties with Mamba. She LOVES her new home and does what 6 month old kitties do. She did a 180 and is my little sweetie pie now!
 
Our wounded ways keep us NEEDING to do a 180. We will hiss and spit and fuck everything up with those that really want to love us WHEN we still come at people from our wound reactions. And again, not everyone is to be the one that helps us to heal, it’s not everyone’s responsibility, but the people and places and things ARE there waiting for US to want to pick ourselves up and go get help – and go start walking the road to recovery. 
 
Because of my wounds, when my business first launched, I said yes to everything. I was inundated with too much business, AND said yes to it all. Which is why I worked from morning till night and overextended like a puffy fish – which ironically, I WAS dealing with food allergies that took 5 years to diagnose, but that kept me in a puffy fish state. And then Moon Bear, who was only 5 years old, was tragically killed and then things really backed up. 
 
But it is now 5 years later and I am 190% better than I was. I wake at 4 am every day and dig my way out of this horrendous situation of backed up I got myself in. And the other week I paced it all out and am now piecing it all together, but it won't be until October 2021 that I am back to zero and with no debt in things that need to be completed. I have about 8 months of steady and dedicated work that now will be required of me. I will have to climb a mountain with strict discipline and paths that must be taken by me for almost the whole year.
 
So. I have the chore of what needs to be completed and paced out of me – while I have many steps of what that means. To think about cleaning our whole house, we know that it takes many hours and many layers of getting it all done. YOU are sitting in something like this and it needs you just getting into it and NOT sitting in limbo because you are so overwhelmed of the huge task ahead. 100% my business is so backed up because the THOUGHT of how backed up it is has stopped me. And you know that same thing. We must now not allow ourselves to be stopped or to give up. Now is when we do it better than we have done it before and get in the gym and just keep doing it. There is no other option. You MUST move the boulders out of the way, BUT you will see that blessings and lottery tickets are hidden around the bend when you DO.  Consider that the Universe is training a puppy how to BE. The treats come when you do what you need to learn to do. Don’t be rebellious and keep yourself showing who you ARE NOT. 
 
 
 
Losing followers
Is called house cleaning.
Cleaning clears the way
For better energy.
Dust bunnies HAVE GOT to go.
Value that YOUR PEOPLES stay.
They are the ONLY ones that matter. 
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