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Embrace being different.

11/4/2020

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W E D N E S D A Y 4 nov |  
 
Good morning loves! This is a wild card kind of day and it has some irritation to it because something is coming out of nowhere and where it is least expected – and therefore it can have people feeling unsettled and as if they are on edge or busy in their mind over wondering what this could mean. 
 
People are VERY chatty today and I do advise that you try to stay off the road as much as you can because something has people distracted but it almost feels like a curse where they are thinking in a different way, and therefore they won't be paying attention. And with things coming out of the blue, it spells something of danger or lightning strike sort of actions that you really can't even see coming. And I don’t usually give driving warnings, but it is showing up where something on the road is not a safe place to be. People are up in their heads and also expressing erratically with things that they feel are in their way or holding them back. There will be LOTS of scarcity thoughts today and where something has people acting irrationally because of a fear that there is not enough to go around. 
 
But deeper into the reading, I am seeing something correct in how we deal with others who are on a different page and how we are learning something from what it gets us fired up over. Take the ways you are angry at others who are not following your way and use your mind in constructive ways where you are peeling apart layers and going into why you need ALL to be the same. 
 
We are trying to open minds at this time to embracing differences and being happy that we are not all on the same page. I know growing up I was punk rock and there was only about 10 of us in 500 students -- who only wore Izod’s, wanting to be the rich kids who were clean cut and ironed slick. But there was NOTHING in me that wanted to be them or grow up to one day be like them. I LOVED that I was different and not like the pack. I never ever have been ashamed to be not like what everyone else is. 
 
So, find that in yourself and learn today to not get mad when others are not just like you. Be the punk rocker in the 70s and 80s who was leading the way – but as the minority and where everyone looked at you like you were an idiot, and said things like, THAT is a mistake. I remember when my mom was in her good mom years, she would go wildly protective with her Scorpio Moon when other people looked at me with distaste in their face. She would rip people to shreds right there in the grocery store or turn the car around to go tell someone off who just gave me the finger. 
 
But listen to the players. Me, standing progressive and different, in a sea of others who only wanted the conservative way – and it made them MAD at me. It made them want to show me how fucked up they thought I was. It had them wanting to hurt me, to disgrace me, to let me know I was a monster. And then my mom who witnesses the injustice and wants to protect me being different and who I am and was not going to take any shit from anyone trying to belittle me – which, ironically, she played that role from conception to 11 years old. 
 
Now actually I wonder if she was so passionate because of her own guilt doing the same in wanting me to know I was hated. So, she connected with their feelings for me and it got her to go ballistic on anyone doing what she used to do to me. And the thing is, I remember being like, MOM! Let it go. I don’t care!!!! It didn’t bother me one bit. I LIKE to be different. I just saw them showing something ugly inside that was them and NOT ME. I didn’t take it personally. I did with my mom hating on me, but others, it really didn’t affect me. But it was because I was PUNK ROCK. And, what I mean by that is that I was walking a road not many were anyway, again taking us back to I was stepping into 12th grade work and they were still in 3rd grade work. So why get mad at them. 
 
BUT. I do want you to see the role of my mother and apply that to your own anger at others in seeing WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IN YOUR PAST that now gets you livid when you see others doing the same. Like, my mom used to love to look at me like I was such a mistake, but then when others did the same, she wanted to kill them, HOW DARE YOU TREAT MY DAUGHTER THAT WAY!!!! From 11 to 20 she really was my hardcore protector that snapped in a second. BOOM. She’d be calling your parents and ripping them to shreds. 
 
So. Read these words and get it. WAKE UP to realizing it's GREAT to be different and it's time to walk it like a pioneer and not keep looking back to fight others who are doing it the old mainstream way.STOP FIGHTING where you don’t want to be anymore. BUT recognize that if you can't not fight, then you need to see something that needs to heal inside of you. You are holding shame, blame or guilt from when you did the same. This work is deep right now and it's why it has an agitation to it, because WE DO need pain to wake out of our wounded manifestations. Just like a therapist can sit here and listen to you say about how much you hate this person for how they are, and that therapist will then be trying to get you to see how you hate yourself for something you wish you would have done or wish you wouldn’t have done. And this provocateur is just the mirror to get you into the therapist’s chair. See how the provocation moves you and TAKE IT WITHIN to allow it to change you. 
 
 
Being different 
Is where you need to be.
Don’t follow the pack 
Because they follow the mainstream. 
But do allow others to choose for themselves.
You are NOT the authority here on anyone 
But yourself. 
Do what feels best to you
And walk like a leader, who remains true. 
 
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